Shakira Accidentally Sold a Nazi Necklace

Shakira, the best-selling Spanish Language singer of all time, has just started off on her sixth world tour in support of her new album, El Dorado. And of course, a concert tour means concert tour merchandise. You can buy all sorts of t-shirts and jewelry and whatnot when you go to see Shakira sing, or you can get it on her website.

Of course, some people thought that one of the necklaces included some hidden Nazi symbolism, the implication being that Shakira is a Nazi. Now, I don’t know all of the ins and outs about who the Nazis hate, but I’m pretty sure Spanish-speakers and Colombians are at the top of the list. The Nazis certainly do seem happy about those kids being ripped from their parents at the border, at any rate.

Just so we’re clear here, this isn’t a case of a random symbol looking a bit like a Nazi symbol, this is the exact symbol Nazi occultists used. It is kind of an obscure symbol, but it’s too specific to be a coincidence. At the same time, I don’t think Shakira is secretly a Nazi. But I do have a theory about how this happened.

El Dorado is the legendary lost city of gold, based on the story of a mythical Colombian tribal chief. Mezoamerican mythology associates the black sun with the god Quetzalcoatl, but it doesn’t use the same black sun symbol the Nazis used. It’s possible, and even likely, that someone looking for symbols from Mezoamerican mythology just got the wrong black sun.

I mean, either that or Shakira is a Nazi. I’m sure no one actually thinks that, though.

Okay, I’m out. I can’t deal with this. People are just being too dumb today and I can’t handle it. I’m gonna move to Walden Pond and write a book about watching bean sprouts grow.

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