Amanda Bynes Did Not Die In 2014

The last time we checked in on Amanda Bynes, she was grocery shopping and had gained some weight.

Now, friends fear for her life as she moves to New York.

The story comes from the always reliable Radar. And by “always reliable” I mean, “95 percent false.” Insiders told Radar that Bynes is back on drugs and has started drinking again. Here’s what the source said:

“Amanda’s brother, Tommy, and sister, Jillian are extremely concerned for her because she isn’t returning their phone calls or texts. They fear for her safety and well-being, especially since Amanda is now in New York City. They’re afraid she’s going to die there.”

I like how New York is the blame for this. Like, they’d be cool with her doing drugs and drinking if she were in Iowa.

“Amanda’s troubles have put a lot of strain on the family as parents. Rick and Lynn don’t believe she suffers from schizophrenia, or any other mental illness. There isn’t anything anyone can do except hope Amanda doesn’t do anything to put herself in harm’s way.”

Wasn’t she diagnosed by a professional, who said she suffered from some type of mental illness? That’s just shitty parenting if they don’t think the mental illness is real and aren’t willing to help their daughter. You can’t help people who don’t want to be helped, but you can at least act like you care. That’s the first rule of not actually caring. Act like you care, so when they still screw up, you can be like, “We did everything we could. They just didn’t want the help.”

Bynes was spotted acting drunk in West Hollywood last week, which sort of contradicts the report that she’s dying in New York. Unless Hollywood moved as well.

So, Amanda Bynes is going to die soon. Or she’s not because this was a report from 2014 and she’s still alive.

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